Patience and Kindness are not my usual go to reactions.

Okay so life has pretty much bull dozed me lately. Work, school, social life. It's all been a lot. I find myself under self imposed pressure to be the best friend, student, girlfriends, boss, etc. But you cannot always make everyone happy. So we have come to the oh-so-fun part of life, unhappy people. At first I found myself getting really annoyed and frustrated with people telling me what's wrong with me. "You've changed since you started dating honey" "All you do is work and school and the gym" "I am so offended you went and did this <insert random activity said person would not have enjoyed> without me!" I am just gonna be really honest right about now. I work a lot. Like when I am not at work I am worrying work is gonna call me. But you know what I love love love what I do. I love my patients, I love my clients. I love my coworkers like family. I know it is time consuming. I know I blow off plans, don't return phone calls, or come visit because I am usually distracted.

I am sorry that work, school, and the gym have consumed my life. I really am. But I am trying really hard to make better choices in my life and when people get all whiny about it I am pretty sure my reaction has become

Not the most mature reaction but hey I am only human

I guess we all hit that point where we realize people we love are never going to encourage positive change. They are not going to be happy about the things in your life that are making them happy. There's probably a million reasons why this is, to be honest none of them make it suck less. I have amazing people in my life, and 98% of them are super encouraging and supportive. The other 2% don't seem to get where I am going with my 30s. So this months lesson is in patience and acceptance of people not approving of taking care of yourself. It is not easy as kindness and patience to people being douchey in not my strong suit. So I am reminding myself that every single person has struggles, and issues. They all have their world and what works for them. 

At least Alice gets it

So in the end this is a work in progress. Realistically I am just ranting, because it's easier then telling people I care about I feel like they are being assholes. 

Mile High Memories in the Bay

I have been a Denver Broncos fan for as long as I can remember (Okay there was that time in 5th grade when I decided the Chargers were it, but hey I was 11 don't judge!) So when I moved to California it was really hard to be behind enemy lines. Raiders this, Niners that.  I missed the Mile High Salute, and even Tebowing. Now everyone who knows me I am crazy white girl about football. I yell, I scream, I talk smack. Last years safety heard round the world left those close to me asking if I needed to be put on a 72 hour psych hold. Yeah it's like that. So last year I dragged honey to the pre-season opener at Candlestick against Denver, and you know what it was AWESOME. Denver won which is always good, but the feel of the park the fans love of their team it was almost magical.

So when my amazing friend with crazy hook ups to like EVERYthing asked if I wanted tickets to the pre-season game in the new Levi's stadium I jumped at the chance to go. Not only was my Orange Crush coming to the Bay we were gonna get to see the first football game played in this Stadium. Ever. She warned me they weren't amazing seats but I didn't care. I couldn't wait for Sunday! So game day finally got here and I was trying to put into perspective what it was all about. I remember driving by Mile High and hearing all the "I remember back when……" stories. Today was my day, years from now I would get to say "I saw the first game ever played at Levi's"

When we got to our seats (which should have come with a Sherpa) I could not get over how amazing the view was! We could literally see to the bay, it was gorgeous.

When you climb 8 million feet you totally get to take a duck face selfie

Before the game started they asked for a moment of silence in Memory of Robin Williams. When 70,000 people are silent it is enough to give you goosebumps. My heart was touched on so many levels that they took the time to recognize a Bay area local in such an amazing way. Maybe this set my expectations to high for the rest of the day. Because once the game started I didn't get that goose bump feeling again. Granted Denver pretty much dominated the whole game (34-0) for all you non followers out there, but at almost every game I've ever been to, no matter what the sport, there are those moments of greatness that make it a game. I'm not even talking about things that the players do, it can be a moment the fans have together. 

This was such a classy move, I applaud you Niners. 

I really thought the opener would have some of that magic. Looking back on today I can think of a million excuse why it wasn't everything I imagined it would be, but over all I am just bummed. I am bummed for the true fans, I am bummed for the next generations of fans, I'm even bummed for the Niners. I had a great time today; my team won, I got to hang with some of my favorite people and have some laughs, and I got to see a part of sports history. But here's the thing. It could have been so much more. The fans in our section were so obviously bored by the game they made everyone uncomfortable. Finally we just gave up our place on the space station and went to standing room only. 

True Love is friendship that lasts thru football season. 

I hope for the sake of all my true Niner fans this is a fluke. I hope Levi's becomes a place of memories, laughter, tears, and cheers. I hope that one day I can go and feel like I am part of crowd who cares and not just the one loud chick cheering in her Wes Welker Jersey. I think the biggest problem with all this is that I am a fan. I love the Broncos, but I love the game too. There's something seriously wrong when I was hoping for a Niner turnaround in the 4th quarter, even 3. Just so those guys could have some points on the board in their new house. Overall it was a great day and I am sure tens of thousands of people are would say I am wrong and today as amazing and Levi's is a crazy awesome stadium. 

Maybe I'm old school, I am just wondering if the magic of the stick can be found in this new sterile stadium. I hope that opening up all these tickets at much higher prices isn't going to drive away the old timer from taking his grand kids and talking about the glory days. I hope the staff keeps their excitement and joy to be there until the fan base catches up and is like "Hell yes. ITS GAME DAY". I hope the new season ticket holders learn to support each other and become true Sunday game day brothers. I hope when your opponents fans come in you learn how to heckle and tease and not blow off and roll your eyes when they cheer. I know change is hard, but love your team, love the game, and I'm pretty sure Levi's will become the place of a million memories. I am glad that I went today, and I do have some great memories from it. I am just excited to see what it becomes. 

Home is where the heart is (unless home has an electric stove, then I'm out)

Lately there has been a lot of moments in life that make you go "HMMMMMMMM"

First and foremost I am really starting to accept the fact that I am ridiculously immature and will always laugh when it is uncalled for. I am also starting to realize I am pretty okay with becoming a 30 something, between my friends and my own crazy I am pretty self convinced that I am a bad ass mofo!

True Story

So lately the big "OH SHIT I AM 30" realization is that honey and I have been seriously looking into buying a house. Okay I am just going to put it out there, buying a house SUCKS. It's hard, and slow, and scary as hell. Basically so far the adventure to home ownerships has gone as follows: 

California is EXPENSIVE (Half a million dollars on a condo?What.the.fuck) 

Yep. My Thoughts for every damn house we have looked at so far. (Don't even get me started on the kitchen that was made of particle board!) 

Honey and I are really picky. Which sucks. But doesn't. I mean we are committing 30 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars to this. We make good money, and still can't afford the "nice" houses. Thankfully we have a kick ass realtor, who I'm sure hates us. Like a lot. 

I think we are close to being these people 

So we may find a house, we may not. I am trying my hardest not to worry about it. Which is like the easiest thing ever to a control freak. 

There is also the fun fact of what comes with the "WE'RE BUYING A HOUSE" development. I am now addicted to HGTV. Which is probably going to turn into all kinds of future DIY disasters I can share with y'all. I also have realized my pinterest board of home ideas proves two things: 1) I have incredibly expensive taste 2) ain't nobody got time for that 

Overall I am feeling pretty mature and proud of myself, which is pretty funny since I am totally a 14 year old at heart. 

This has actually happened. 

Keeping my fingers crossed that we find our perfect dream home. Then we can have the very important discussion of where to hang the kick ass picture of the Bolton! 

And what was I saying? (This post is about nothing. Like literally nothing productive about this)

    Okay so I really was digging the blogging thing. Then I wasn't. Then I was and I was ready to get back at it. Then my cat did something adorable, and it had to instagramed. RIGHT THEN. Trust me if you've seen my instagram my cats are pretty fucking adorable (instagram @ryrymae) Then I was over it again. So it sat. And now I am back into it again. Heck yes 3 readers! I am here to share more random bolton-loving nuggets of joy and hilarity!

This is the kind of passion I need to find when trying to remember to update my blog. 

All Bolton photos aside, there has been some pretty neat stuff in the extended blog break I've been living. I have been fighting a pretty serious case of homesick lately which I am pretty sure is directly related to the fact that the people in California are pretty much bat shit insane. Not that it's a bad thing, some of my nearest and dearest are one production deal away from being on the next "Real housewives of (Insert city here)" Over all I think a large part of my recent reclusiveness is a realization that I am not a huge fan of how people handle stressful situations and my natural instinct is to then shut down and avoid the whole thing.This is probably totally unhealthy and will require therapy at some point, but since it seems healthier then my usual lose-my-shit-and-get-all-crazy-white-girl we will call it progress.

But I haven't lost it yet. HIGH FIVE! 

So I've been pretty hermity, and that's okay. Except when it's not. Which is where shit always gets jumbled. Life has a lot of expectations in general, and at the moment I am not super feeling the expectations of all the people in my life. I really do want to be the best friend, girlfriend, coworker, family member I can be. But holy hell relationships are a lot of work! Which is cool, if you want to be a part of someones life you need to make the effort to show you care.  I realized there are people who probably think I am a self centered person because I don't meet their expectation of what I should be putting into our relationship. So how do you nicely explain you are giving what you can? And what if what you can give isn't enough? GAH! Then I think I just want to live in a cave with my cats because really all these people just want and need stuff. 

Yep. That's about right

Obviously I actually really like people, I am more trying to figure out how to manage their feelings towards me. Then being able to not let it effect my over all being. I'm pretty sure that going the route of 21-year-old me is not going to work, as telling people to piss off when you don't like what they have to say can really only work for so long. So the new goal is to try and be loving and aware of peoples feelings but realize their issues are THEIRS and not mine. I can continue to live my pretty awesome life and the people who get it and love me for it will be around. It also means I get to choose what people contribute and how. Basically I have found the loop hole to be like "yeah I pretty much slack off on showing up 80% of the time, but when I do PARTY ON!" And my friends will still love me for it. 

Amen, random pinterest quote

So again this whole rant and rave isn't really about anything in particular. Except to remind myself and itty bitty audience that it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to outgrow people you care about. you don't have to be a dick about it. (Unless they hate the Bolton) You can stand your ground and cultivate the relationships that are the most beneficial to you. Don't let peoples baggage weight you down, I have a purse that is filled with enough crap to do that already. Take time to laugh. Take time to think about who you want around and why. Take time to realize you change and grow and not everyone will come with you on that path. Most importantly remember to give what you can to the people that matter. True friends will never ask for anything more. 

~Til next time :) 

Hanging out with my high school self

So this weekend an awesome friend (as I have said before my friends are the best of the best) invited me on a lady date to go see the Backstreet Boys. Now more then a few people that I told had one of three things to say:

"They still tour?"

"Really? The Backstreet Boys? Ick. No way"

and Honey wins with:

"Yeah, no"

All naysayers aside I can tell you that I have a already seen the Backstreet Boys, and N sync,  and 98 Degrees. More then once. My bedroom was a shrine to these guys back in the day, and my first car had all their CDs on repeat. So the tiny 15 year old in me was pretty excited when I was invited to this show. Friends I am just gonna put it out there, there is NOTHING that will make you feel old quick then seeing you favorite boy band from high school 15 years later. However, it does make you think about all the things you have learned in your time in becoming an older individual. I refrain from using the word adult as in the last week the following things have actually happened: I've laughed until I snorted from a "that's what she said", I squealed and rocked out a BSB concert, and honey and I had a pretty intense nerf gun war. (Fun fact immaturity is even more fun when both people in the relationship do it!)

So here's my cliche "things I would tell younger me if I could, even though younger me would probably not listen as younger me's judgement included teased Kelly Kapowski bangs" post:

1. What you are attracted to will change (FOR THE BETTER!)

High School Crush: 

Riiiiight. I'm embarrassed for him. 

"Adult" Crush: 

Those eyes say "I have a 401K, and ALWAYS put 20% of my income into savings"

Swoon! 

2. You will become uncool, and realize you are not as cool now as you think you are.  I am pretty lucky in that I happen to have the best people ever in my life in several capacities. Friends, clients, neighbors etc. Getting older has been the only way these relationships have cultivated and but it has also meant accepting what is. I find myself saying the things the grown ups would say that I hated. I worry about things I still feel like someone else should be concerned about ("Do I need better health insurance? Maybe this weekend I should see if I can get my car insurance cheaper through a new company") Here's the kicker about being old: IT'S A LOT OF WORK! But it also comes with a lot of perks. Unlike high school me, this lady was able to go to a BSB show and enjoy a nice cocktail. Would have I enjoyed it more if the waitress insisted on seeing my ID? Well obviously. But there is a point where being liberated of feeling so anxious and concerned with how cool or popular you are can only be described as the first moment you slip into your favorite yoga pants and know you don't have to leave the house. 

3. Laugh. This is something I preach about pretty often because the honest truth about life, to me, is that it comes with a lot of really shitty, hard, how am I going to survive moments. Your heart will get broken. There will be death and drama and controversy and work stress and money stress and body image stress. The world has a lot of really awesome people in it, but the fact is there is also a lot of assholes out there. Being able to laugh at them or the situation at hand is really the best thing ever. It is so nice to know you can smile even when it feels like your whole world is gonna end. Added bonus, most assholes HATE it when people laugh. So theres that. 

That's what she said (Okay not funny, but you know what I mean) 

4.  Learn to spend wisely. I may or may not have a slight addiction to designer purses. And going out to dinner. And taking trips. And wine. But I am very frugal about how I do all those things because if I want to keep doing them the money has to come from somewhere. Don't deprive yourself but maybe get your Michael Kors at the outlet? 

This may or may not be based on a true story I starred in 

5. Go to the gym: Trust me on this one. You will never love it. But you will appreciate the advantage if you start now instead of waiting until your 28 and hide your chin roll with your large collection of hipster scarfs. 

6. Make your own advice. Don't listen to some crazy cat lady with a blog. I have no fucking idea what I am doing. Do what makes you happy. As long as it isn't at the cost of someone else. Listen to boy bands, drink wine, buy a bow tie for your cat, start a blog that all 2 people who love you know matter what will read. 

Hipster Homeland

So Recently a friend and I took a lady-cation to Portland. Having never been to Portland I of course asked all my social friends what I had to see. Apparently Portland has beer and doughnuts, so I already knew I was in for some carb-y goodness. Upon landing we hopped on the light rail and headed to our hotel. Anyone whose every met me knows I have no sense of direction whatsoever so it was no surprise when we got off the train and I explained we needed to figure out where the hotel was when my traveling companion pointed out the large building. Right.behind.me. So once again my internal gps pretty much screwed me.

ITS SO FLUFFY!

Both being animal lovers we decided to head to the zoo. So if you are ever in Portland and have 11 bucks you should totally check out the zoo! We spent hours walking around seeing all the animals, and acting like teenagers because honestly what good is a lady-cation if you can act a fool? Once again I decided that I really needed to put a penguin in my purse but alas my pet penguin dreams have once again gone unfulfilled. 

So this happened. 

This should have scared me but I live with Bruce Kanye so it didn't

I also want to be as happy as this bear. 

So after the zoo we went to back to the hotel and had drinks at the super awesome rooftop bar our hotel had. Another fun tip is make friends with the bartender. We made friends with the super awesome Rashad and he was seriously a delight to talk to! 

Day 2 started with brunch, we had asked the front desk staff for some suggestions and they swore a certain place was were we had to go. So after a long light rail ride, an even longer hike thanks to siri's detours we ended up at the restaurant. Fun fact. If you are over the age of 25 DO NOT take brunch advice from the 20 year olds. Arriving at what I am pretty sure is a night club that serves eggs, we sat down hoped not to get roofied in the process. After giving up on the loud music and low lights we ended up at a super cute cafe with a great patio. This is where my real love of Portland started. Not only did they have coffee (Which is my favorite ever) but instead of having the normal sugar packs and cream they had raw brown sugar cubes to plop in your java. Plus water in a super sweet glass bottle that screamed hipster fab. 

The next stop after brunch was the Saturday Market, which is like a giant crafty fair thing. But they have deep fried foods and a crap ton of duct tape artists (I don't get it either.) Then out of no where was sign that made the entire trip to Portland go from awesome to AMAZEBALLS! 

That's right people. Bowties. For Cats. Now if you've met me I'm pretty much total cat lady. I routinely battle all my friends wedding and baby posts with pictures of my cats. So cat bow ties pretty much make me want to scream "TAKE MY MONEY NOW!" The guy running the booth was super awesome and I fully have to say if you ever need a cat bow tie you should totally check out: 

www.businesscatual.com

After Saturday market we went back and saw Rashad for some pre dinner cocktails. The we headed to the Kennedy School which is probably the only school I would ever be okay with going to every day. 

Beards and Beer? Well yeah. 

So Portland has whiskey bacon butter. And that is why I almost never came home. 

So the final part of Portland was probably the only thing we had 100% committed to before showing up in Oregon. Voodoo Doughnuts. Having seen the long ass line on Saturday we figured the best plan of attack was to try and get there before the lines. Helpful hint: there is ALWAYS a line! Even at 6:30 in the morning we had to wait 20 minutes for our sugary goodness. In the end it was so WORTH IT. Granted the fruit loop doughnut left me feeling very diabeticy.

So in conclusion Portland is AWESOME. I do not own enough flannel to there but I will totally be back! 

Hipster camera. Check.

So for Christmas I got the most awesome gift of a new camera. I am still really rusty and have very little photographic talent but I am trying. And like any true hipster what better place to clog y'alls feed then on my blog?