Patience and Kindness are not my usual go to reactions.

Okay so life has pretty much bull dozed me lately. Work, school, social life. It's all been a lot. I find myself under self imposed pressure to be the best friend, student, girlfriends, boss, etc. But you cannot always make everyone happy. So we have come to the oh-so-fun part of life, unhappy people. At first I found myself getting really annoyed and frustrated with people telling me what's wrong with me. "You've changed since you started dating honey" "All you do is work and school and the gym" "I am so offended you went and did this <insert random activity said person would not have enjoyed> without me!" I am just gonna be really honest right about now. I work a lot. Like when I am not at work I am worrying work is gonna call me. But you know what I love love love what I do. I love my patients, I love my clients. I love my coworkers like family. I know it is time consuming. I know I blow off plans, don't return phone calls, or come visit because I am usually distracted.

I am sorry that work, school, and the gym have consumed my life. I really am. But I am trying really hard to make better choices in my life and when people get all whiny about it I am pretty sure my reaction has become

Not the most mature reaction but hey I am only human

I guess we all hit that point where we realize people we love are never going to encourage positive change. They are not going to be happy about the things in your life that are making them happy. There's probably a million reasons why this is, to be honest none of them make it suck less. I have amazing people in my life, and 98% of them are super encouraging and supportive. The other 2% don't seem to get where I am going with my 30s. So this months lesson is in patience and acceptance of people not approving of taking care of yourself. It is not easy as kindness and patience to people being douchey in not my strong suit. So I am reminding myself that every single person has struggles, and issues. They all have their world and what works for them. 

At least Alice gets it

So in the end this is a work in progress. Realistically I am just ranting, because it's easier then telling people I care about I feel like they are being assholes. 

Mile High Memories in the Bay

I have been a Denver Broncos fan for as long as I can remember (Okay there was that time in 5th grade when I decided the Chargers were it, but hey I was 11 don't judge!) So when I moved to California it was really hard to be behind enemy lines. Raiders this, Niners that.  I missed the Mile High Salute, and even Tebowing. Now everyone who knows me I am crazy white girl about football. I yell, I scream, I talk smack. Last years safety heard round the world left those close to me asking if I needed to be put on a 72 hour psych hold. Yeah it's like that. So last year I dragged honey to the pre-season opener at Candlestick against Denver, and you know what it was AWESOME. Denver won which is always good, but the feel of the park the fans love of their team it was almost magical.

So when my amazing friend with crazy hook ups to like EVERYthing asked if I wanted tickets to the pre-season game in the new Levi's stadium I jumped at the chance to go. Not only was my Orange Crush coming to the Bay we were gonna get to see the first football game played in this Stadium. Ever. She warned me they weren't amazing seats but I didn't care. I couldn't wait for Sunday! So game day finally got here and I was trying to put into perspective what it was all about. I remember driving by Mile High and hearing all the "I remember back when……" stories. Today was my day, years from now I would get to say "I saw the first game ever played at Levi's"

When we got to our seats (which should have come with a Sherpa) I could not get over how amazing the view was! We could literally see to the bay, it was gorgeous.

When you climb 8 million feet you totally get to take a duck face selfie

Before the game started they asked for a moment of silence in Memory of Robin Williams. When 70,000 people are silent it is enough to give you goosebumps. My heart was touched on so many levels that they took the time to recognize a Bay area local in such an amazing way. Maybe this set my expectations to high for the rest of the day. Because once the game started I didn't get that goose bump feeling again. Granted Denver pretty much dominated the whole game (34-0) for all you non followers out there, but at almost every game I've ever been to, no matter what the sport, there are those moments of greatness that make it a game. I'm not even talking about things that the players do, it can be a moment the fans have together. 

This was such a classy move, I applaud you Niners. 

I really thought the opener would have some of that magic. Looking back on today I can think of a million excuse why it wasn't everything I imagined it would be, but over all I am just bummed. I am bummed for the true fans, I am bummed for the next generations of fans, I'm even bummed for the Niners. I had a great time today; my team won, I got to hang with some of my favorite people and have some laughs, and I got to see a part of sports history. But here's the thing. It could have been so much more. The fans in our section were so obviously bored by the game they made everyone uncomfortable. Finally we just gave up our place on the space station and went to standing room only. 

True Love is friendship that lasts thru football season. 

I hope for the sake of all my true Niner fans this is a fluke. I hope Levi's becomes a place of memories, laughter, tears, and cheers. I hope that one day I can go and feel like I am part of crowd who cares and not just the one loud chick cheering in her Wes Welker Jersey. I think the biggest problem with all this is that I am a fan. I love the Broncos, but I love the game too. There's something seriously wrong when I was hoping for a Niner turnaround in the 4th quarter, even 3. Just so those guys could have some points on the board in their new house. Overall it was a great day and I am sure tens of thousands of people are would say I am wrong and today as amazing and Levi's is a crazy awesome stadium. 

Maybe I'm old school, I am just wondering if the magic of the stick can be found in this new sterile stadium. I hope that opening up all these tickets at much higher prices isn't going to drive away the old timer from taking his grand kids and talking about the glory days. I hope the staff keeps their excitement and joy to be there until the fan base catches up and is like "Hell yes. ITS GAME DAY". I hope the new season ticket holders learn to support each other and become true Sunday game day brothers. I hope when your opponents fans come in you learn how to heckle and tease and not blow off and roll your eyes when they cheer. I know change is hard, but love your team, love the game, and I'm pretty sure Levi's will become the place of a million memories. I am glad that I went today, and I do have some great memories from it. I am just excited to see what it becomes.