Okay so I really was digging the blogging thing. Then I wasn't. Then I was and I was ready to get back at it. Then my cat did something adorable, and it had to instagramed. RIGHT THEN. Trust me if you've seen my instagram my cats are pretty fucking adorable (instagram @ryrymae) Then I was over it again. So it sat. And now I am back into it again. Heck yes 3 readers! I am here to share more random bolton-loving nuggets of joy and hilarity!
This is the kind of passion I need to find when trying to remember to update my blog.
All Bolton photos aside, there has been some pretty neat stuff in the extended blog break I've been living. I have been fighting a pretty serious case of homesick lately which I am pretty sure is directly related to the fact that the people in California are pretty much bat shit insane. Not that it's a bad thing, some of my nearest and dearest are one production deal away from being on the next "Real housewives of (Insert city here)" Over all I think a large part of my recent reclusiveness is a realization that I am not a huge fan of how people handle stressful situations and my natural instinct is to then shut down and avoid the whole thing.This is probably totally unhealthy and will require therapy at some point, but since it seems healthier then my usual lose-my-shit-and-get-all-crazy-white-girl we will call it progress.
But I haven't lost it yet. HIGH FIVE!
So I've been pretty hermity, and that's okay. Except when it's not. Which is where shit always gets jumbled. Life has a lot of expectations in general, and at the moment I am not super feeling the expectations of all the people in my life. I really do want to be the best friend, girlfriend, coworker, family member I can be. But holy hell relationships are a lot of work! Which is cool, if you want to be a part of someones life you need to make the effort to show you care. I realized there are people who probably think I am a self centered person because I don't meet their expectation of what I should be putting into our relationship. So how do you nicely explain you are giving what you can? And what if what you can give isn't enough? GAH! Then I think I just want to live in a cave with my cats because really all these people just want and need stuff.
Yep. That's about right
Obviously I actually really like people, I am more trying to figure out how to manage their feelings towards me. Then being able to not let it effect my over all being. I'm pretty sure that going the route of 21-year-old me is not going to work, as telling people to piss off when you don't like what they have to say can really only work for so long. So the new goal is to try and be loving and aware of peoples feelings but realize their issues are THEIRS and not mine. I can continue to live my pretty awesome life and the people who get it and love me for it will be around. It also means I get to choose what people contribute and how. Basically I have found the loop hole to be like "yeah I pretty much slack off on showing up 80% of the time, but when I do PARTY ON!" And my friends will still love me for it.
Amen, random pinterest quote
So again this whole rant and rave isn't really about anything in particular. Except to remind myself and itty bitty audience that it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to outgrow people you care about. you don't have to be a dick about it. (Unless they hate the Bolton) You can stand your ground and cultivate the relationships that are the most beneficial to you. Don't let peoples baggage weight you down, I have a purse that is filled with enough crap to do that already. Take time to laugh. Take time to think about who you want around and why. Take time to realize you change and grow and not everyone will come with you on that path. Most importantly remember to give what you can to the people that matter. True friends will never ask for anything more.
~Til next time :)
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