And what was I saying? (This post is about nothing. Like literally nothing productive about this)

    Okay so I really was digging the blogging thing. Then I wasn't. Then I was and I was ready to get back at it. Then my cat did something adorable, and it had to instagramed. RIGHT THEN. Trust me if you've seen my instagram my cats are pretty fucking adorable (instagram @ryrymae) Then I was over it again. So it sat. And now I am back into it again. Heck yes 3 readers! I am here to share more random bolton-loving nuggets of joy and hilarity!

This is the kind of passion I need to find when trying to remember to update my blog. 

All Bolton photos aside, there has been some pretty neat stuff in the extended blog break I've been living. I have been fighting a pretty serious case of homesick lately which I am pretty sure is directly related to the fact that the people in California are pretty much bat shit insane. Not that it's a bad thing, some of my nearest and dearest are one production deal away from being on the next "Real housewives of (Insert city here)" Over all I think a large part of my recent reclusiveness is a realization that I am not a huge fan of how people handle stressful situations and my natural instinct is to then shut down and avoid the whole thing.This is probably totally unhealthy and will require therapy at some point, but since it seems healthier then my usual lose-my-shit-and-get-all-crazy-white-girl we will call it progress.

But I haven't lost it yet. HIGH FIVE! 

So I've been pretty hermity, and that's okay. Except when it's not. Which is where shit always gets jumbled. Life has a lot of expectations in general, and at the moment I am not super feeling the expectations of all the people in my life. I really do want to be the best friend, girlfriend, coworker, family member I can be. But holy hell relationships are a lot of work! Which is cool, if you want to be a part of someones life you need to make the effort to show you care.  I realized there are people who probably think I am a self centered person because I don't meet their expectation of what I should be putting into our relationship. So how do you nicely explain you are giving what you can? And what if what you can give isn't enough? GAH! Then I think I just want to live in a cave with my cats because really all these people just want and need stuff. 

Yep. That's about right

Obviously I actually really like people, I am more trying to figure out how to manage their feelings towards me. Then being able to not let it effect my over all being. I'm pretty sure that going the route of 21-year-old me is not going to work, as telling people to piss off when you don't like what they have to say can really only work for so long. So the new goal is to try and be loving and aware of peoples feelings but realize their issues are THEIRS and not mine. I can continue to live my pretty awesome life and the people who get it and love me for it will be around. It also means I get to choose what people contribute and how. Basically I have found the loop hole to be like "yeah I pretty much slack off on showing up 80% of the time, but when I do PARTY ON!" And my friends will still love me for it. 

Amen, random pinterest quote

So again this whole rant and rave isn't really about anything in particular. Except to remind myself and itty bitty audience that it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to outgrow people you care about. you don't have to be a dick about it. (Unless they hate the Bolton) You can stand your ground and cultivate the relationships that are the most beneficial to you. Don't let peoples baggage weight you down, I have a purse that is filled with enough crap to do that already. Take time to laugh. Take time to think about who you want around and why. Take time to realize you change and grow and not everyone will come with you on that path. Most importantly remember to give what you can to the people that matter. True friends will never ask for anything more. 

~Til next time :) 

My love hate relationship with social media

It seems ironic that I would post a rant about social media on my blog (Confession: I had to look up "ironic" to make sure it actually is ironic.) Also I am going to resist the urge to like that Alanis Morissette song below this sentence so you're welcome internet. 

I should probably start by say I LOVE Facebook. And pinterest. And instagram. I have a twitter but I am not cool with being limited to 140 characters so I don't even bother. I think social media can keep people in touch, link us to articles and things we may have never seen before, and let us share happy news quickly and painlessly. There is also the fact that I am totally a cat lady and love all the kitties my friends post on my wall. But I also have days of scrolling my feed where I am like "Seriously WTF people."

I think we all have those friends and family members that post things or comment on things where they are not wanted. The best is when people get all pissy and offended when they are just as bad as those "offending" them. So I'm just gonna put my bullshit front and center: I take too many pictures of my cats. I laugh every time someone posts a shirtless picture of Michael Bolton on my wall. I rarely post my religious/political/personal beliefs because people can be vicious and cruel, and I don't want to hear that shit. 

Lately it seems like more and more people feel the need to shove their beliefs down everyone else's throats. Normally I keep scrolling and mind my business, because the way I look at it is if I wanna post Michael Bolton shirtless on my wall why can't you post things I find ignorant/not true on your wall. We are in 'Merica after all and free speech is a gift I am grateful for. What I am not cool with is the select few who feel the need to bully others and tell others how wrong they are. Women I respect and admire are telling me people feel the need to call them out on their beliefs. Not cool internet world, not cool. If you don't like something someone is saying, move along. If they say something directed towards you, then yes by all means, engage. Or be a fucking grown up state why you think it's not okay and get the fuck over it. 

When a friends 17th cousin 4 times removed decided to post that she HATED something I posted on MY friends wall I was ready to rip into her for being an asshole but I took a second and stopped. It was so much easier to be like "hey I didn't post this for you sorry if it offended you (even tho I don't know you), but you butting into my business offended me." I like to think of it as the grown up way of telling someone to fuck off. The beauty of the day we live in is that people of all walks of life can be friends and it's OKAY! You don't have to sit with just "your people" anymore. Actually scratch that. I have "my people" and they are smart, beautiful, funny, caring individuals who come from every race/faith/political party known to man and I will sit with them any day. 

Many times when people ask me what my beliefs are and why I'm not all up in everyones junk with it, I struggle to answer. Maybe the simplest answer is that I don't feel like dealing with the debates? I would rather not hear that I am "Wrong" when it's something I believe in and think is right? But the honest truth is this: Beliefs change. People grow up. Things I thought were true 10 years ago and would have argued until I was blue in the face about I don't think any more. So yes I have beliefs and opinions. No I don't need to debate them with virtual people I may or may not give a shit about. (Unless it's football season then prepare to be overloaded with Broncos posts) It all comes down to a simple fact, the people who I care about know me, both virtually and in real life. They know who I am, where I am, and that I am wiling to talk about most things even if it's a topic we don't agree on. I also know that these people are super awesome and are capable and okay with conversations that conclude with "hey we may not agree but we still like each other and that's enough" 

So please internet world be kind to each other, sometimes not saying anything is more powerful then any words can be. It is okay to look away unless someone is doing something that may harm themselves or others. I will be honest I find myself cracking up as I am writing this, because by nature i am a smart ass. I tend to be a rough say what I want kind of person. I spent many years thinking it was okay to say whatever the hell I wanted because I had friends and didn't need to give a care to what others thought. And while I am sitting here preaching internet kindness I should come clean. I am not a nice person all the time. I do say mean things that aren't productive to a more loving society. So I am no asking for some dramatic change in the world I am asking people to realize when and where it is okay to say these things.  I am also reminding myself that sometimes there is a less brazen approach then being like "hey fuck you" 

I guess I am really no better then the people I am whining about :) 

 

Another whiny post about some chick who turned 30

30. It finally happened. I am officially out of my 20's. I want to fill these paragraphs with tales of how I am so bad ass that I just eased into 30 full of grace and dignity. Okay if you have met me you know grace is something I have never had, and dignity okay well I would like to say in general I am a pretty awesome human being. But no I did not look at turning 30 as just another birthday that I could be all "whatever" about. Now that its been a few months into 30 I am looking back thinking "why the fuck was I so worried about this?" But I was and it's my blog so I get to whine about how it seemed so awful at the time. When you're writing your blog you can blah blah blah about how wonderful this next stage of life is. I'm sure we're all glad to see that my maturity has stayed in tact as I age.

Turning 30 was in no way as awful as the thought of turning 30. Why is this? I'm sure there is some annoying "well society and Hollywood put pressure on women" argument I am supposed to insert here. Well folks I am 30 and old now so I am too lazy to google that annoying pretend feminist bull crap. So just pretend I put a fluff piece about how I am robbed of enjoying my thirties because society wants me to be 25 eternally.

Protesting. Like a boss. 

I think the first mature 30ish thing I did was realize 30 isn't a punishment or a dirty word. 30 is an achievement! My 20's have a lot of fun filled times. They also have a lot of shitty WTF times that I am glad are over. So from here on out 30 is gonna be an accomplishment, that I made it through all the good and bad times and can still laugh about most things. However 30 is not going to be a year where I preach self love and all the drastic changes I am going to make. Yeah I'd like to stop cursing so much (Probably not gonna fucking happen), maybe go to the gym more (sorry I am still behind on "Game of Thrones"), learn to cook (HAHAHAHAHAHA),  and actually make one of the 75242909 projects I pin on pinterest. I am really going to try and become the person I want to be, but having been around the person I am for the last 30 years I know better then to make false promises. 

I also know that a very big part of the reason I am the bad-ass person I think I am today is because of the amazing tribe of friends and family I have gathered all these years. So if it took 30 years to know I have the raddest people ever in my life I am a-okay seeing what's next. The worst part of all this sudden self realization is that all of my sisters in the 30 club told me this? All along everyone said 30 was great. As hard as is it is for me to admit they were right. Being 30 is being allowed to be the most awesome version of yourself. I've also already learned to use my new found "seniority" to justify my ridiculous antics. 

For example: When making my normal cup of 5/8 coffee 3/8 cream and sugar the comment was made "wow thats a lot of cream and sugar." Normally I would try and explain why I like sweet coffee, I gave up lattes, its splenda and sugar free creamer, etc etc. Now I get to look whoever isn't minding there own damn business and say. "You know what? I am 30 fucking years old and can drink my coffee however the fuck I want" 

And that single reader of my blog is the best gift of all.