Home is where the heart is (unless home has an electric stove, then I'm out)

Lately there has been a lot of moments in life that make you go "HMMMMMMMM"

First and foremost I am really starting to accept the fact that I am ridiculously immature and will always laugh when it is uncalled for. I am also starting to realize I am pretty okay with becoming a 30 something, between my friends and my own crazy I am pretty self convinced that I am a bad ass mofo!

True Story

So lately the big "OH SHIT I AM 30" realization is that honey and I have been seriously looking into buying a house. Okay I am just going to put it out there, buying a house SUCKS. It's hard, and slow, and scary as hell. Basically so far the adventure to home ownerships has gone as follows: 

California is EXPENSIVE (Half a million dollars on a condo?What.the.fuck) 

Yep. My Thoughts for every damn house we have looked at so far. (Don't even get me started on the kitchen that was made of particle board!) 

Honey and I are really picky. Which sucks. But doesn't. I mean we are committing 30 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars to this. We make good money, and still can't afford the "nice" houses. Thankfully we have a kick ass realtor, who I'm sure hates us. Like a lot. 

I think we are close to being these people 

So we may find a house, we may not. I am trying my hardest not to worry about it. Which is like the easiest thing ever to a control freak. 

There is also the fun fact of what comes with the "WE'RE BUYING A HOUSE" development. I am now addicted to HGTV. Which is probably going to turn into all kinds of future DIY disasters I can share with y'all. I also have realized my pinterest board of home ideas proves two things: 1) I have incredibly expensive taste 2) ain't nobody got time for that 

Overall I am feeling pretty mature and proud of myself, which is pretty funny since I am totally a 14 year old at heart. 

This has actually happened. 

Keeping my fingers crossed that we find our perfect dream home. Then we can have the very important discussion of where to hang the kick ass picture of the Bolton! 

And what was I saying? (This post is about nothing. Like literally nothing productive about this)

    Okay so I really was digging the blogging thing. Then I wasn't. Then I was and I was ready to get back at it. Then my cat did something adorable, and it had to instagramed. RIGHT THEN. Trust me if you've seen my instagram my cats are pretty fucking adorable (instagram @ryrymae) Then I was over it again. So it sat. And now I am back into it again. Heck yes 3 readers! I am here to share more random bolton-loving nuggets of joy and hilarity!

This is the kind of passion I need to find when trying to remember to update my blog. 

All Bolton photos aside, there has been some pretty neat stuff in the extended blog break I've been living. I have been fighting a pretty serious case of homesick lately which I am pretty sure is directly related to the fact that the people in California are pretty much bat shit insane. Not that it's a bad thing, some of my nearest and dearest are one production deal away from being on the next "Real housewives of (Insert city here)" Over all I think a large part of my recent reclusiveness is a realization that I am not a huge fan of how people handle stressful situations and my natural instinct is to then shut down and avoid the whole thing.This is probably totally unhealthy and will require therapy at some point, but since it seems healthier then my usual lose-my-shit-and-get-all-crazy-white-girl we will call it progress.

But I haven't lost it yet. HIGH FIVE! 

So I've been pretty hermity, and that's okay. Except when it's not. Which is where shit always gets jumbled. Life has a lot of expectations in general, and at the moment I am not super feeling the expectations of all the people in my life. I really do want to be the best friend, girlfriend, coworker, family member I can be. But holy hell relationships are a lot of work! Which is cool, if you want to be a part of someones life you need to make the effort to show you care.  I realized there are people who probably think I am a self centered person because I don't meet their expectation of what I should be putting into our relationship. So how do you nicely explain you are giving what you can? And what if what you can give isn't enough? GAH! Then I think I just want to live in a cave with my cats because really all these people just want and need stuff. 

Yep. That's about right

Obviously I actually really like people, I am more trying to figure out how to manage their feelings towards me. Then being able to not let it effect my over all being. I'm pretty sure that going the route of 21-year-old me is not going to work, as telling people to piss off when you don't like what they have to say can really only work for so long. So the new goal is to try and be loving and aware of peoples feelings but realize their issues are THEIRS and not mine. I can continue to live my pretty awesome life and the people who get it and love me for it will be around. It also means I get to choose what people contribute and how. Basically I have found the loop hole to be like "yeah I pretty much slack off on showing up 80% of the time, but when I do PARTY ON!" And my friends will still love me for it. 

Amen, random pinterest quote

So again this whole rant and rave isn't really about anything in particular. Except to remind myself and itty bitty audience that it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to outgrow people you care about. you don't have to be a dick about it. (Unless they hate the Bolton) You can stand your ground and cultivate the relationships that are the most beneficial to you. Don't let peoples baggage weight you down, I have a purse that is filled with enough crap to do that already. Take time to laugh. Take time to think about who you want around and why. Take time to realize you change and grow and not everyone will come with you on that path. Most importantly remember to give what you can to the people that matter. True friends will never ask for anything more. 

~Til next time :) 

Hanging out with my high school self

So this weekend an awesome friend (as I have said before my friends are the best of the best) invited me on a lady date to go see the Backstreet Boys. Now more then a few people that I told had one of three things to say:

"They still tour?"

"Really? The Backstreet Boys? Ick. No way"

and Honey wins with:

"Yeah, no"

All naysayers aside I can tell you that I have a already seen the Backstreet Boys, and N sync,  and 98 Degrees. More then once. My bedroom was a shrine to these guys back in the day, and my first car had all their CDs on repeat. So the tiny 15 year old in me was pretty excited when I was invited to this show. Friends I am just gonna put it out there, there is NOTHING that will make you feel old quick then seeing you favorite boy band from high school 15 years later. However, it does make you think about all the things you have learned in your time in becoming an older individual. I refrain from using the word adult as in the last week the following things have actually happened: I've laughed until I snorted from a "that's what she said", I squealed and rocked out a BSB concert, and honey and I had a pretty intense nerf gun war. (Fun fact immaturity is even more fun when both people in the relationship do it!)

So here's my cliche "things I would tell younger me if I could, even though younger me would probably not listen as younger me's judgement included teased Kelly Kapowski bangs" post:

1. What you are attracted to will change (FOR THE BETTER!)

High School Crush: 

Riiiiight. I'm embarrassed for him. 

"Adult" Crush: 

Those eyes say "I have a 401K, and ALWAYS put 20% of my income into savings"

Swoon! 

2. You will become uncool, and realize you are not as cool now as you think you are.  I am pretty lucky in that I happen to have the best people ever in my life in several capacities. Friends, clients, neighbors etc. Getting older has been the only way these relationships have cultivated and but it has also meant accepting what is. I find myself saying the things the grown ups would say that I hated. I worry about things I still feel like someone else should be concerned about ("Do I need better health insurance? Maybe this weekend I should see if I can get my car insurance cheaper through a new company") Here's the kicker about being old: IT'S A LOT OF WORK! But it also comes with a lot of perks. Unlike high school me, this lady was able to go to a BSB show and enjoy a nice cocktail. Would have I enjoyed it more if the waitress insisted on seeing my ID? Well obviously. But there is a point where being liberated of feeling so anxious and concerned with how cool or popular you are can only be described as the first moment you slip into your favorite yoga pants and know you don't have to leave the house. 

3. Laugh. This is something I preach about pretty often because the honest truth about life, to me, is that it comes with a lot of really shitty, hard, how am I going to survive moments. Your heart will get broken. There will be death and drama and controversy and work stress and money stress and body image stress. The world has a lot of really awesome people in it, but the fact is there is also a lot of assholes out there. Being able to laugh at them or the situation at hand is really the best thing ever. It is so nice to know you can smile even when it feels like your whole world is gonna end. Added bonus, most assholes HATE it when people laugh. So theres that. 

That's what she said (Okay not funny, but you know what I mean) 

4.  Learn to spend wisely. I may or may not have a slight addiction to designer purses. And going out to dinner. And taking trips. And wine. But I am very frugal about how I do all those things because if I want to keep doing them the money has to come from somewhere. Don't deprive yourself but maybe get your Michael Kors at the outlet? 

This may or may not be based on a true story I starred in 

5. Go to the gym: Trust me on this one. You will never love it. But you will appreciate the advantage if you start now instead of waiting until your 28 and hide your chin roll with your large collection of hipster scarfs. 

6. Make your own advice. Don't listen to some crazy cat lady with a blog. I have no fucking idea what I am doing. Do what makes you happy. As long as it isn't at the cost of someone else. Listen to boy bands, drink wine, buy a bow tie for your cat, start a blog that all 2 people who love you know matter what will read. 

Hipster Homeland

So Recently a friend and I took a lady-cation to Portland. Having never been to Portland I of course asked all my social friends what I had to see. Apparently Portland has beer and doughnuts, so I already knew I was in for some carb-y goodness. Upon landing we hopped on the light rail and headed to our hotel. Anyone whose every met me knows I have no sense of direction whatsoever so it was no surprise when we got off the train and I explained we needed to figure out where the hotel was when my traveling companion pointed out the large building. Right.behind.me. So once again my internal gps pretty much screwed me.

ITS SO FLUFFY!

Both being animal lovers we decided to head to the zoo. So if you are ever in Portland and have 11 bucks you should totally check out the zoo! We spent hours walking around seeing all the animals, and acting like teenagers because honestly what good is a lady-cation if you can act a fool? Once again I decided that I really needed to put a penguin in my purse but alas my pet penguin dreams have once again gone unfulfilled. 

So this happened. 

This should have scared me but I live with Bruce Kanye so it didn't

I also want to be as happy as this bear. 

So after the zoo we went to back to the hotel and had drinks at the super awesome rooftop bar our hotel had. Another fun tip is make friends with the bartender. We made friends with the super awesome Rashad and he was seriously a delight to talk to! 

Day 2 started with brunch, we had asked the front desk staff for some suggestions and they swore a certain place was were we had to go. So after a long light rail ride, an even longer hike thanks to siri's detours we ended up at the restaurant. Fun fact. If you are over the age of 25 DO NOT take brunch advice from the 20 year olds. Arriving at what I am pretty sure is a night club that serves eggs, we sat down hoped not to get roofied in the process. After giving up on the loud music and low lights we ended up at a super cute cafe with a great patio. This is where my real love of Portland started. Not only did they have coffee (Which is my favorite ever) but instead of having the normal sugar packs and cream they had raw brown sugar cubes to plop in your java. Plus water in a super sweet glass bottle that screamed hipster fab. 

The next stop after brunch was the Saturday Market, which is like a giant crafty fair thing. But they have deep fried foods and a crap ton of duct tape artists (I don't get it either.) Then out of no where was sign that made the entire trip to Portland go from awesome to AMAZEBALLS! 

That's right people. Bowties. For Cats. Now if you've met me I'm pretty much total cat lady. I routinely battle all my friends wedding and baby posts with pictures of my cats. So cat bow ties pretty much make me want to scream "TAKE MY MONEY NOW!" The guy running the booth was super awesome and I fully have to say if you ever need a cat bow tie you should totally check out: 

www.businesscatual.com

After Saturday market we went back and saw Rashad for some pre dinner cocktails. The we headed to the Kennedy School which is probably the only school I would ever be okay with going to every day. 

Beards and Beer? Well yeah. 

So Portland has whiskey bacon butter. And that is why I almost never came home. 

So the final part of Portland was probably the only thing we had 100% committed to before showing up in Oregon. Voodoo Doughnuts. Having seen the long ass line on Saturday we figured the best plan of attack was to try and get there before the lines. Helpful hint: there is ALWAYS a line! Even at 6:30 in the morning we had to wait 20 minutes for our sugary goodness. In the end it was so WORTH IT. Granted the fruit loop doughnut left me feeling very diabeticy.

So in conclusion Portland is AWESOME. I do not own enough flannel to there but I will totally be back! 

Hipster camera. Check.

So for Christmas I got the most awesome gift of a new camera. I am still really rusty and have very little photographic talent but I am trying. And like any true hipster what better place to clog y'alls feed then on my blog?

Another Wild and Crazy Saturday Night

Remember when you were younger and you would think of all the fun, exciting things you would do on a Saturday night when you were old enough to do what ever the hell you want? Can someone explain to me when doing whatever the hell you want turned into watching old TV shows on netflix and munching on Chinese food? Lately I have been looking for the good things about being 30. Overall there are a lot of really great things about this stage of my life. Then there are the moments where I remember all that I thought I was gonna do when I was a "grown up" and start to wonder if I am failing at this whole "Adult" phase of life. I will be honest; 30 with three cats, a few terribly failed relationships, and being totally okay with staying home most weekends is not what 21 year old me had planned for. But if I had to explain to my younger, thinner, more energetic self why I am okay with where I am now there are a few things that seem very important.

So far my favorite part of being "mature" is knowing when it's okay to just say whatever the hell you want. Obviously you can't do this all the time, but in the right space, with the right friends, it's a-okay to let the thoughts that may make you appear mentally unstable, but shit sometimes mental instability

 super fun. 

The things you swear you hate will not bother you nearly as much as you thought it would. The things you thought you would never give a crap about are suddenly important. 401K? Yep all about maximizing my gains. Eating better? Well okay, I love paying twice as much for something because its free range organic. J. Crew, Gap? Yep, like half my closet. 

30 also comes with people in your life who make it all better. The besties who have become sisters, who were crazy with you at 20,  held you at 25 when your heart was really broken, and are proud of you at 30 despite the scars. The characters who are from a million different beliefs but make up a super awesome collection of randomly random adventures. They encourage your knitting habit, tease you for your love of cats. Enable your coffee and wine habits. There won't be a million friends, just a few that are one in a million. 

So here is my main point. 10 years ago I had a plan. Today I have a plan. Those plans are so different from each other it's like night and day. Maybe it's time to ditch the plan and see what the next 10 years has in store? 

Why I have the most bad-ass friends around

I have probably had one of my more Icky feeling 2 weeks and now that I am slowly pulling out of my pity party I think I can see why I have the coolest, most wonderful, amazing friends in my life: 

They encourage the crazy: A true friend will feed into your antics even if they aren't really gonna help you burn that chick all over your man's house down. It doesn't have to be true. Sometimes a "Hell yes." is all you need to hear to feel better. 

They are the ones to tell you the truth. Even if you don't want to hear it: We've all been the friends to say "Oh no you look great" Let's just be honest, a true friend will call it like it is "You look great! If desperate is what we are going for?" These are the friends that may let you vent about coworkers, boyfriends, husbands, other friends but will be the first to tell you when the problem is you being an asshole. The bonus? They are usually one of the first ones to tell said boyfriends, husbands, coworkers, and friends when they are in fact assholes as well. 

They hate who you hate: I don't mean politically or anything mature like that. I am talking a true friend will hate the person who made you feel awful, or who has been awful to you. Sometimes they don't need to know them, all they need to know is they hurt you. 

They encourage bad behavior: A good friend will encourage you to go to the gym. A best friend will say "fuck it, you've had a rough day. You earned that Ben and Jerry's" One of the things I love about my bests is that we can be anywhere and laugh and act a fool and not give a shit because we are having so much fun. 

True Friends accept your quirks: My friends are awesome. They accept the fact I have too many cats. My weird crush on Michael Bolton. They accept the fact I am OCD about my house. That no one should look at, breathe near, or think about me before a cup of coffee.

But most importantly a true friend will pick you up when you fall down. Or as the random overly pinned saying says "a good friend will pick us up when we fall down, and if they can't pick us up they will lie down and listen awhile." My friends are amazing. In the last 2 weeks they have stopped what they have been doing to let me cry, remind me I am enough, and to even help me laugh. At then end of the day all the laughter and antics are wonderful but the true friends are the one you can call and admit you're broken and they stop what they are doing are worth all the good, bad, and in-between. 

So here's to all the laughing, crying, and acing crazy!